I’m no Jeremy Clarkson fan, but even I have to admire his ethos when it comes to food and drink. Since his Clarkson’s Farm adventures began, the former Top Gear presenter has been a loud and proud advocate for British agriculture - and he doesn’t just talk the talk.
His Diddly Squat Farm Shop showcases produce grown on his Cotswolds farm or made locally by independent businesses - often using his ingredients. Down the road at his pub, The Farmer’s Dog, he’s gone further - refusing to serve coffee, ketchup and Coca-Cola as they don’t align with his vision of using only British-supplied ingredients (as far as reasonably possible, anyway).
His strict rules don’t seem to have put anyone off. Customers have booked months in advance for a one-hour Sunday lunch sitting, or travelled from all over the country to queue for hours at his shop.
For the less dedicated among us, there’s now an easier way to get in on the action. Clarkson has teamed up with Deliveroo to deliver a selection of Diddly Squat favourites directly to our doors. Launched on March 18, it’s available from Deliveroo HOP Morrisons stores in Manchester, as well as Bristol, Brighton and London, while stocks last.
We gave the new service a whirl - here are our honest thoughts.
Pork scratchings - £1.99/50g
There's no polite way to say it - these smell like a pig pen. The farmyard aroma hit me the minute I opened the packet. If you want a truly immersive Clarkson's Farm experience that engages all your senses, these are the snack for you. If you can overlook the odour, these are a textbook example of the traditional pub snack - their salty and audibly crunchy crackling giving way to a melting, fatty centre.
Hand-cooked crisps (lightly salted and cheese and onion) - £1.99/40g.
The tight-fisted Yorkshirewoman in me bridled at the price of these once I realised these weren't sharing-sized bags - and not much bigger than your standard packet of Walkers or McCoys. However, even those brands now cost more than £1 a pop, so perhaps it's my expectations that were the problem.
Clarkson's crisps are undoubtedly a superior product, made with potatoes grown on his farm and free from artificial flavours, colours or preservatives. Just two flavours are available - lightly salted, which mainly taste of the sunflower oil they're cooked in, and cheese and onion, flavoured with mature Hereford Hop cheese. Not bad at all, but considering quality brands like Tyrells sell bags three times the size for about 75p more, they still feel steep.
Bee Juice Bites - £5/150g
The clear winner of our taste test was the chocolate-covered honeycomb pieces. The office taste test consensus was 'better than a Crunchie' - maybe that's faint praise. I'm not sure where the 'bee juice' - the name of Diddly Squat's honey- is though. Inspecting the ingredients list, it doesn't appear to contain any. The honeycomb in these is, of course, the sugary cinder toffee confection rather than anything from a hive. So it seems to be just a cutesy play on words.
The chocolate did taste quite cheap for the price, and according to the ingredients there's only 3% cocoa powder in it. It's mostly sugar, whey and (sustainable) palm oil - I'm fairly certain the latter isn't grown in Chipping Norton. It doesn't quite chime with the wholesome, homegrown ideals Clarkson espouses elsewhere in his business empire.
But that doesn't stop me going back for another handful...
Diddly Squat Farm Fudge - £5/150g
Also rated highly in our taste test was this traditional, crumbly-style fudge. It's produced for the farm by The Cotswold Fudge Company, who make it by hand to an old-fashioned recipe. It's creamy and utterly delicious, although so incredibly sweet I only manage one piece. It's worth noting that Cotswold Fudge Company's website lists all its own fudges at £3.99/150g - so customers are paying a premium for the Diddly Squat name.
Diddly Squat Bee Juice Pure Honey - £12.50/350g
This £12.50 jar of honey caused a bit of a buzz back when Clarkson first opened his farm shop. The price was labelled 'shameful' by some - and he hit back. I wouldn't go that far but it's certainly a lot more than I'd usually be prepared to pay. It is, I have to admit, incredibly good though.
Fruity and floral in flavour, it's a set honey with a crystalline texture that melts to a golden shimmer on warm toast. I usually only keep honey in the cupboard for cooking and baking, but this one is good enough to eat straight from the jar. However sweet, the price may leave a sour taste for many.
Chilli Pasta Sauce - £5.99/250g.
A sweet and slightly tangy tomato and pepper sauce with a habanero heat that made my lips tingle when I tasted it straight from the jar. My Italian husband was unconvinced but said he'd be willing to try it - on a taco. After simmering it gently and serving tossed through linguine with king prawns and parsley, he begrudgingly admitted it was pretty nice. I enjoyed it too - the heat mellowed with cooking but it still had a fiery kick.
Would I spend nearly £6 on it again? Not when I can whip up a quick and equally tasty arrabbiata sauce from a tin of chopped tomatoes, a pinch of garlic and chilli, and a splash of olive oil in the time it takes to boil the pasta.
Chilli Garlic Rapeseed Oil - £5.99/250ml
A mere teaspoon of this oil nearly knocked me off my feet. Once the heat subsides, the oil itself has quite a neutral flavour compared with the fruitier olive oil I usually use. It'd be perfect for drizzling on pasta or pizza, or even as a base oil for cooking spicy dishes.
Hawkstone beer and cider - £2.99/250ml (beers), £2.99/500ml cider
The Hawkstone brewery, run in collaboration with the folks from the former Cotswold Brew Co, produces just a handful of beers and there are four available from the Diddly Squat Deliveroo HOP shop. The 4% Hawkstone Session Lager is crisp, clean and citrussy, while the 4.8% Hawkstone Lager is a richer and maltier upgrade.
There's also a lighter 3.8% Hawkstone Pils as well as a 4.8% Hawkstone IPA, for those (like me) who prefer a hoppier brew. None of them are particularly ground-breaking but it's a solid range that covers most of the classic beer styles you'd expect to see at a British boozer.
I'd be happy to find any of them at my local, and I also found these the most reasonably priced products in the range. There's also a Hawkstone Cider, made from locally-picked heritage apples.
It's sweeter than I expected from a drink described as medium-dry, and has a slight sparkling wine quality to it courtesy of champagne yeast it's fermented with. I'm not much of a cider drinker but this goes down a treat on a warm spring day.
If you have cash to splash, the Deliveroo range also includes Diddly Squat's Cow Juice Vodka (£45/500ml), distilled using whey and spring water from the farm, Le Pop Sparkling Wine (£45/750ml) and Bee Juice rum (£30/200ml). Having already spent £56.89 at this point, I decided it was time to rein it in.
The verdict
For me, the whole appeal of buying food from a farm shop is the experience of actually visiting one. Getting out in the countryside and understanding the field to fork journey of the goods in your basket is something you just can't replicate via Deliveroo.
If I was visiting Diddly Squat for a day out, I'm sure I wouldn't hesitate to bring home a foodie souvenir or two - even if they did cost more than I'd be willing to pay in my usual weekly shop. Would I buy them on Deliveroo again? Probably not.
The Deliveroo HOP order experience itself was quick and seamless, and I'd use the service again for an emergency shopping top-up. If you have a Jeremy Clarkson fan in your life, the Diddly Squat range on there would make a fantastic last minute gift.
As for me, I'll probably stick to Morrisons' own line. Sorry Jeremy...
